2010 – The year that was
I can’t recollect much of what happened during the year, may be because personally I did only few things worth remembering. Or I accept even the extra-ordinary things I do as something normal.
In Dec 2009, I got into facebook, at the recommendation of my son Rajan just to read what he writes everyday. Now my own entrees in it - recording of my thoughts and ideas and happenings in life - make good reading for me.
Have been fairly regular with my walking in the terrace and my diet regime and meditation since attending Vipasana programme in April.
March
Created a new website for TCL
Went to Mannarkudi to attend the Garuda sevai utsavam with Santhan and Geetha and visited many temples in Tanjore.
April
Did the 10-day Vipasana meditation programme at Bombay. It was an amazing experience
May
Started a blog to jot down my thoughts and feelings. Surprised to see I have done 48 entrees
June
Designed TCL and UPL’s annual report covers
Went to Kodai with Sridhar, Daya and Srinath
July
Initiated and helped in organizing the family trip to Nanguneri (Thirunelvelli) to perform ennaikappu utsavam
September
Had an excellent 4-week holiday in US with Sridhar, attending an Indian wedding and visiting two of my sons and two of my nieces. It was a memorable journey.
October
Had my hair styled differently that makes me feel young at heart.
I had very good extraordinary experience on my birthday on 10.10.10.
December
Had a very unique, enjoyable one-week holiday with my sister Kala and Sridhar in Singapore
Friday, December 31, 2010
The world is good
The world is good
The world is good. The world is as I imagine it to be.
How can a day’s ordinary experiences make me believe so?
I took the day off on Thursday the 30th of December because I still had two days of CL left before the year closes. When on Dec. 21st, I posted in my facebook – “I have 3 days of CL to be used up before it elapses at the end of the year. I am faced with a dilemma – do I take the leave or let it elapse?” – my son Rajan said, “ hard for me to understand what the dilemma is”. (That needs lot of explanation. I will answer that another time.)
I had two reasons for visiting Madras. My friend Ramraj invited me for dinner on New Year’s Eve. I wanted to visit Sarala, a cousin of mine. I negotiated with Ramraj to have breakfast with him at his house instead of the dinner out on New Year’s Eve. (This is a reflection on the strength of our relationship.)
Within a day I decided on what I wanted to do and how. I went to Madras with my cousin Sampath on his weekly return on Wednesday evening and then for the next day I planned my programme in Madras independently. I wanted to be free to do whatever I wanted and not be tied up to anybody else’s schedule. I also planned to return to Ranipet by bus because I wanted to find out whether ‘I have what it takes’. This adventure is not like doing the ‘base-walk’ in Ayer’s Rock or walking up the ‘Padavedu hill’. But then I am older by 5 more years since then.
I asked for a taxi to pick me up at 7.30 am. He was late to announce his arrival by about 10 minutes, but when I saw him I couldn’t complain. He was a young man in his late 20s or early 30s, small built, wearing a yellow dhothi and a shirt and a thin streak of viboothi on his forhead. He had a lovely smile on his face, that was kind and gentle and a voice that was soft. His name was Saravanan.
I told him where I wanted to go. I was late by about 15 minutes at Ramraj’s place. I had a wonderful time with him and his family. It was so comfortable sitting at the dinning table, talking to all of them (this time including his daughter) and having the special item prepared by his wife Sita for the breakfast. The dish (a simple pan-fried rice cake) and the way Ramraj and his brother Ravi described the process of its preparation and how they ate accoding to the ritual / habit cultivated in the family, is a subject for another blog.
After an hour and half spent with Ramraj’s family I left to visit my cousin Sarala. It is a cousin with whom I haven’t had much interaction over the years and it is just two weeks since she has lost her husband. I have visited her ones in that house may be 5 – 6 years ago for her younger son’s upanayanam. I have met her couple of years ago at her father’s 80th birthday celebration. Last March she was also at the Garudothsavam festival her father (my uncle) performed at Mannargudi. But I have always felt I could relate with her.
Consoling her came naturally to me, as I could empathise with her and her own strength at accepting and handling the difficult situation made it easy too. Her mother and her sister were also there with her. I spent two hours with them talking about various things and even laughing at times. I had my lunch in their house. I felt close to her more than ever before.
By 1 p.m. I left Sarala’s house on my return journey. I asked Saravanan to take me to the bus stop and put me in the bus to Ranipet. He took me to the main ‘Koimbedu’ bus stop, parked the car and came with me inside the bus stop, identified the right bus, made sure with the conductor that it is going to Ranipet, before I boarded the bus. I just took the first available seat, but he suggested a better seat at the front, near the window. I felt so safe, protected and being taken care of. Added to all his great qualities that were visible at the first sight of him, this made him a personification of goodness.
A young girl came and sat next to me. I asked her where she is going and what she does. It was a very interesting conversation. Her name was Kavitha. I introduced my self. It was obvious that this meeting was meant to be part of my trip.
It was a 2 ½ hour journey. It was hard for me to be sitting for that long without shifting much. But I felt relaxed looking out the window at passing landscape, and immersed in my own thoughts and plans – some very remote, some about the immediate environment. The bus music system played songs from Tamil movies of the early 60s I am familiar with.
The last ½ hour was the most difficult but I endured it knowing this too would pass. The bus stopped at ‘Muthukadai’. Before getting off the bus, I thanked the driver for his steady, safe, excellent driving. It is another 2 km. to where I live. The driver suggested I can take a local bus. I could have taken an auto. But I decided to walk as I felt I needed to strech my legs and loosen the stiff joints. It was only 4.30 p.m.
I walked and reached home before 5. I was tired, thirsty, and hungry and felt in need of a hot shower. I turned on the hot water heater in the bathroom, had a drink of water and thanked God for the successful completion of my mission. Then I fixed myself a plate of snacks – an apple, an orange, a slice of Nilgiri’s plum cake, a few pieces of cheese and 6 almonds. I also made a mug of hot Ovaltine from a mix I got from my sister Kala while I was in Singapore. I turned the fan on and sat down to have my snack, with a great sense of satisfaction.
Then I remembered even though I felt Saravanan was so good, and thanked him when I got into the bus, I never told him so. I called him and told him I have arrived safely and appreciated all his good qualities. He said he was worried and that he is happy to know I have reached home safely.
I feel going through all these activities with open mind in a focused manner without any expectations is what enabled me to be aware of what is happening around me and in my mind.
Of course if I had to write everything that happened, every conversation we had, every thought that went through my mind it would definitely run into over 10 pages.
But I need to add that the coffee break Sampath and I had at Coffee Day near Sriperumbuthur on the way in to Madras; just being able to listen to the lively conversation Sarathy, Ramya and Arvind had that evening and laugh with them; the excellent dinner of thin, soft phulka chapatti and very tasty Kovaikkai koottu Suja had prepared for dinner; the unplanned stop to test out poli at a sweet shop I have seen pass by many times - all added to my pleasant experience. I was at peace with myself.
And at the end of it all I felt I do accept the world as it is and the world is good.
The world is good. The world is as I imagine it to be.
How can a day’s ordinary experiences make me believe so?
I took the day off on Thursday the 30th of December because I still had two days of CL left before the year closes. When on Dec. 21st, I posted in my facebook – “I have 3 days of CL to be used up before it elapses at the end of the year. I am faced with a dilemma – do I take the leave or let it elapse?” – my son Rajan said, “ hard for me to understand what the dilemma is”. (That needs lot of explanation. I will answer that another time.)
I had two reasons for visiting Madras. My friend Ramraj invited me for dinner on New Year’s Eve. I wanted to visit Sarala, a cousin of mine. I negotiated with Ramraj to have breakfast with him at his house instead of the dinner out on New Year’s Eve. (This is a reflection on the strength of our relationship.)
Within a day I decided on what I wanted to do and how. I went to Madras with my cousin Sampath on his weekly return on Wednesday evening and then for the next day I planned my programme in Madras independently. I wanted to be free to do whatever I wanted and not be tied up to anybody else’s schedule. I also planned to return to Ranipet by bus because I wanted to find out whether ‘I have what it takes’. This adventure is not like doing the ‘base-walk’ in Ayer’s Rock or walking up the ‘Padavedu hill’. But then I am older by 5 more years since then.
I asked for a taxi to pick me up at 7.30 am. He was late to announce his arrival by about 10 minutes, but when I saw him I couldn’t complain. He was a young man in his late 20s or early 30s, small built, wearing a yellow dhothi and a shirt and a thin streak of viboothi on his forhead. He had a lovely smile on his face, that was kind and gentle and a voice that was soft. His name was Saravanan.
I told him where I wanted to go. I was late by about 15 minutes at Ramraj’s place. I had a wonderful time with him and his family. It was so comfortable sitting at the dinning table, talking to all of them (this time including his daughter) and having the special item prepared by his wife Sita for the breakfast. The dish (a simple pan-fried rice cake) and the way Ramraj and his brother Ravi described the process of its preparation and how they ate accoding to the ritual / habit cultivated in the family, is a subject for another blog.
After an hour and half spent with Ramraj’s family I left to visit my cousin Sarala. It is a cousin with whom I haven’t had much interaction over the years and it is just two weeks since she has lost her husband. I have visited her ones in that house may be 5 – 6 years ago for her younger son’s upanayanam. I have met her couple of years ago at her father’s 80th birthday celebration. Last March she was also at the Garudothsavam festival her father (my uncle) performed at Mannargudi. But I have always felt I could relate with her.
Consoling her came naturally to me, as I could empathise with her and her own strength at accepting and handling the difficult situation made it easy too. Her mother and her sister were also there with her. I spent two hours with them talking about various things and even laughing at times. I had my lunch in their house. I felt close to her more than ever before.
By 1 p.m. I left Sarala’s house on my return journey. I asked Saravanan to take me to the bus stop and put me in the bus to Ranipet. He took me to the main ‘Koimbedu’ bus stop, parked the car and came with me inside the bus stop, identified the right bus, made sure with the conductor that it is going to Ranipet, before I boarded the bus. I just took the first available seat, but he suggested a better seat at the front, near the window. I felt so safe, protected and being taken care of. Added to all his great qualities that were visible at the first sight of him, this made him a personification of goodness.
A young girl came and sat next to me. I asked her where she is going and what she does. It was a very interesting conversation. Her name was Kavitha. I introduced my self. It was obvious that this meeting was meant to be part of my trip.
It was a 2 ½ hour journey. It was hard for me to be sitting for that long without shifting much. But I felt relaxed looking out the window at passing landscape, and immersed in my own thoughts and plans – some very remote, some about the immediate environment. The bus music system played songs from Tamil movies of the early 60s I am familiar with.
The last ½ hour was the most difficult but I endured it knowing this too would pass. The bus stopped at ‘Muthukadai’. Before getting off the bus, I thanked the driver for his steady, safe, excellent driving. It is another 2 km. to where I live. The driver suggested I can take a local bus. I could have taken an auto. But I decided to walk as I felt I needed to strech my legs and loosen the stiff joints. It was only 4.30 p.m.
I walked and reached home before 5. I was tired, thirsty, and hungry and felt in need of a hot shower. I turned on the hot water heater in the bathroom, had a drink of water and thanked God for the successful completion of my mission. Then I fixed myself a plate of snacks – an apple, an orange, a slice of Nilgiri’s plum cake, a few pieces of cheese and 6 almonds. I also made a mug of hot Ovaltine from a mix I got from my sister Kala while I was in Singapore. I turned the fan on and sat down to have my snack, with a great sense of satisfaction.
Then I remembered even though I felt Saravanan was so good, and thanked him when I got into the bus, I never told him so. I called him and told him I have arrived safely and appreciated all his good qualities. He said he was worried and that he is happy to know I have reached home safely.
I feel going through all these activities with open mind in a focused manner without any expectations is what enabled me to be aware of what is happening around me and in my mind.
Of course if I had to write everything that happened, every conversation we had, every thought that went through my mind it would definitely run into over 10 pages.
But I need to add that the coffee break Sampath and I had at Coffee Day near Sriperumbuthur on the way in to Madras; just being able to listen to the lively conversation Sarathy, Ramya and Arvind had that evening and laugh with them; the excellent dinner of thin, soft phulka chapatti and very tasty Kovaikkai koottu Suja had prepared for dinner; the unplanned stop to test out poli at a sweet shop I have seen pass by many times - all added to my pleasant experience. I was at peace with myself.
And at the end of it all I felt I do accept the world as it is and the world is good.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
My preference for the positive
I enjoy watching movies that depict positive emotions, good communication skills, psychology of human emotions, identifying, understanding and expressing ones feelings, resolving conflicts etc.
Such movies stir up the positive emotions in me and make me feel good at the end.
That is why movies such as ‘Children of Heaven’ and ‘Nanne Jaisalmer’, which are about the ways of innocent children, have made great impact on me. I can watch these movies any number of times.
I like commercials, which show good understanding, tender love and kindness and trusting relationship.
I hero worship people who, I believe, have some of these good qualities and I long to be like them.
I don’t want to know if people have such negative thoughts and emotions depicted in Tamil serials where ordinary people like me scheme to destroy somebody, curse using such cruel words and even do not hesitate to murder to get what they want.
I cannot watch violence and display of anger even on the screen. It makes me uncomfortable. The fact that it is not for real doesn’t even register at that time.
Today I understood that actually it is I who live in a make believe, dream world, negating the reality. Because I believe the world should be all goody-goody, I get terribly disappointed when I learn all of it is not so.
I am aware that I am going through a process of evolution. Every day, every experience teaches me something new. If only I pay attention to it, register and understand the underlying message and learn from it I can grow.
Such movies stir up the positive emotions in me and make me feel good at the end.
That is why movies such as ‘Children of Heaven’ and ‘Nanne Jaisalmer’, which are about the ways of innocent children, have made great impact on me. I can watch these movies any number of times.
I like commercials, which show good understanding, tender love and kindness and trusting relationship.
I hero worship people who, I believe, have some of these good qualities and I long to be like them.
I don’t want to know if people have such negative thoughts and emotions depicted in Tamil serials where ordinary people like me scheme to destroy somebody, curse using such cruel words and even do not hesitate to murder to get what they want.
I cannot watch violence and display of anger even on the screen. It makes me uncomfortable. The fact that it is not for real doesn’t even register at that time.
Today I understood that actually it is I who live in a make believe, dream world, negating the reality. Because I believe the world should be all goody-goody, I get terribly disappointed when I learn all of it is not so.
I am aware that I am going through a process of evolution. Every day, every experience teaches me something new. If only I pay attention to it, register and understand the underlying message and learn from it I can grow.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Events I would like to remember
Events I would like to remember
Yesterday, three events that happened during the last 5 - 6 years came to my mind. I felt I should record them in my blog lest I forget.
This happened in 2004. The day after taking part in a 5-day-long Human Process Lab, I attended a workshop on ‘Bar coding’. I didn’t know anybody in the gathering. Right from the front of the hall a man came walking towards me and said vanakkam. He said there was an aura around me and he wanted to meet me. He introduced himself as a manufacturer and exporter of knitted garments from Thirupoor. He even rang me up a few years later asking for my blessings. I don’t remember his name or have his card.
During my visit to Sydney in 2006, I was sitting in the annexure of a public library with a coffee shop facility. I comfortably settled down with a cup of coffee, to read / go through the few books and magazines I have selected from the library.
With in few minutes I noticed that a man sitting at a table across from me is looking at me, holding a paper in his trembling hands. Whenever I lifted my head from my book, I saw him sitting there and looking at me. I ignored him and continued with my reading. After nearly an hour, when I was ready to leave I still found the man in the same situation. Being in a public place, I found it safe to talk to him. I approached him at his table and asked him what is the matter, why he is staring at me. He trembled more noticeably and said he wanted to talk to me but was afraid. He handed over to me the paper he was holding. It was only a torn sheet of paper. In it he has written ‘I worship you Goddess’. I didn’t know what to make of it and asked him why he had written that. He said he had visited India in his younger days and looking at me he was so fascinated by me.
On the way back to India, after a stopover at Singapore, my sister called for a taxi to drop me off at the airport. When the taxi driver saw me he made a quick gesture of being ‘taken aback’. He said there was a powerful force coming from me. While driving, he repeatedly looked at me through the rear-view mirror and shook his head in disbelief.
I attributed the last two events to the energy I must have gained by my ‘base-walk’ of the Ayer’s Rock in Australia. http://www.australianexplorer.com/uluru.htm
And looking back with this awareness at the first incident at the ‘Bar Coding’ workshop, I feel the ‘meditative way’ of the proceedings of the Human Process Lab must have had a calming effect on me.
But what I find amazing is that it was visible to three people totally unconnected with my day-to-day life. It was so strong and powerful that they didn’t hesitate to express it to a total stranger.
May be I too have such moments when I could recognize the inner glow (or is it the soul?) of people I meet. I need to be more conscious of it to realize it.
Yesterday, three events that happened during the last 5 - 6 years came to my mind. I felt I should record them in my blog lest I forget.
This happened in 2004. The day after taking part in a 5-day-long Human Process Lab, I attended a workshop on ‘Bar coding’. I didn’t know anybody in the gathering. Right from the front of the hall a man came walking towards me and said vanakkam. He said there was an aura around me and he wanted to meet me. He introduced himself as a manufacturer and exporter of knitted garments from Thirupoor. He even rang me up a few years later asking for my blessings. I don’t remember his name or have his card.
During my visit to Sydney in 2006, I was sitting in the annexure of a public library with a coffee shop facility. I comfortably settled down with a cup of coffee, to read / go through the few books and magazines I have selected from the library.
With in few minutes I noticed that a man sitting at a table across from me is looking at me, holding a paper in his trembling hands. Whenever I lifted my head from my book, I saw him sitting there and looking at me. I ignored him and continued with my reading. After nearly an hour, when I was ready to leave I still found the man in the same situation. Being in a public place, I found it safe to talk to him. I approached him at his table and asked him what is the matter, why he is staring at me. He trembled more noticeably and said he wanted to talk to me but was afraid. He handed over to me the paper he was holding. It was only a torn sheet of paper. In it he has written ‘I worship you Goddess’. I didn’t know what to make of it and asked him why he had written that. He said he had visited India in his younger days and looking at me he was so fascinated by me.
On the way back to India, after a stopover at Singapore, my sister called for a taxi to drop me off at the airport. When the taxi driver saw me he made a quick gesture of being ‘taken aback’. He said there was a powerful force coming from me. While driving, he repeatedly looked at me through the rear-view mirror and shook his head in disbelief.
I attributed the last two events to the energy I must have gained by my ‘base-walk’ of the Ayer’s Rock in Australia. http://www.australianexplorer.com/uluru.htm
And looking back with this awareness at the first incident at the ‘Bar Coding’ workshop, I feel the ‘meditative way’ of the proceedings of the Human Process Lab must have had a calming effect on me.
But what I find amazing is that it was visible to three people totally unconnected with my day-to-day life. It was so strong and powerful that they didn’t hesitate to express it to a total stranger.
May be I too have such moments when I could recognize the inner glow (or is it the soul?) of people I meet. I need to be more conscious of it to realize it.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Bubbling with happiness
I am bubbling with happiness this morning.
I opened a pack of Dates for breakfast and noted on the package that it is ‘deseeded’. In that instance I understood the difference between ‘seedless’ and ‘deseeded’. And that led to the awareness that how communication with inappropriate usage of words, however insignificant it may sound, can be grossly misunderstood.
Before leaving for work, I got to see the last 5 minutes of the Iranian movie ‘Children of heaven’. It is one of my favourite movies. I have watched it many times, but somehow missed the last portion of it - after the boy comes first in the running race. Today I saw the final scene - The boy Ali takes off his torn and tattered shoes, peels of his socks from his blistered feet and soaks his feet in a pond and golden fishes come and caress his feet. It was a poetic finale for a classic movie. (I never get tired of talking about this movie)
Last night at the dining table we were discussing lunar eclipse. My brother said it was lunar eclipse couple of days ago. I knew it was not full moon couple of days ago and hence I said it couldn’t be. My niece said it could occur on other days too.
As is my personality, I wasn’t very sure of my facts. I withdrew from the argument. First thing after coming to work this morning, I checked in Google. It clearly stated ‘there is always a full moon the night of a lunar eclipse’. This not only clarified my understanding, but going through the exercise, this information would also be etched in my memory.
I know the happiness bubbling in me is disproportionate to the actual experiences, but I also realize this is what happiness is all about.
I opened a pack of Dates for breakfast and noted on the package that it is ‘deseeded’. In that instance I understood the difference between ‘seedless’ and ‘deseeded’. And that led to the awareness that how communication with inappropriate usage of words, however insignificant it may sound, can be grossly misunderstood.
Before leaving for work, I got to see the last 5 minutes of the Iranian movie ‘Children of heaven’. It is one of my favourite movies. I have watched it many times, but somehow missed the last portion of it - after the boy comes first in the running race. Today I saw the final scene - The boy Ali takes off his torn and tattered shoes, peels of his socks from his blistered feet and soaks his feet in a pond and golden fishes come and caress his feet. It was a poetic finale for a classic movie. (I never get tired of talking about this movie)
Last night at the dining table we were discussing lunar eclipse. My brother said it was lunar eclipse couple of days ago. I knew it was not full moon couple of days ago and hence I said it couldn’t be. My niece said it could occur on other days too.
As is my personality, I wasn’t very sure of my facts. I withdrew from the argument. First thing after coming to work this morning, I checked in Google. It clearly stated ‘there is always a full moon the night of a lunar eclipse’. This not only clarified my understanding, but going through the exercise, this information would also be etched in my memory.
I know the happiness bubbling in me is disproportionate to the actual experiences, but I also realize this is what happiness is all about.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Positive self image
Positive self image
I am extremely happy the way Times Now news channel has started playing the roll of 5th Pillar so diligently and other news channels are following suit.
I often wondered why nobody is talking about what is actually happening in the country. Even when we get to know the various illegal activities of the political leaders, as a mere citizen of India, we are all helpless to do anything about it.
Now, I have started watching the News. Bringing to the fore these unscrupulous ‘leaders’ and their corrupt methods to get to the power, stay in power and amass wealth is a very brave and commendable act.
But the unearthing of various scams and continuously broadcasting new findings, one bigger than the other and projecting the culprit and the way these have been maneuvered, is very over-powering. It looks as if this is what India is all about. Watching or reading about such news day in and day out is very depressing. It makes me feel we are all doomed. When The Economist had the story on India titled ‘India rotten to the crore’, I felt so ashamed.
I feel the media need to counter balance these negative imputs every day, with projection of less-known people who are working for the country, serving the people and the society against all odds. This would be motivating for people to follow their example, for young people to have a role model and for us to feel proud of our country.
I am extremely happy the way Times Now news channel has started playing the roll of 5th Pillar so diligently and other news channels are following suit.
I often wondered why nobody is talking about what is actually happening in the country. Even when we get to know the various illegal activities of the political leaders, as a mere citizen of India, we are all helpless to do anything about it.
Now, I have started watching the News. Bringing to the fore these unscrupulous ‘leaders’ and their corrupt methods to get to the power, stay in power and amass wealth is a very brave and commendable act.
But the unearthing of various scams and continuously broadcasting new findings, one bigger than the other and projecting the culprit and the way these have been maneuvered, is very over-powering. It looks as if this is what India is all about. Watching or reading about such news day in and day out is very depressing. It makes me feel we are all doomed. When The Economist had the story on India titled ‘India rotten to the crore’, I felt so ashamed.
I feel the media need to counter balance these negative imputs every day, with projection of less-known people who are working for the country, serving the people and the society against all odds. This would be motivating for people to follow their example, for young people to have a role model and for us to feel proud of our country.
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