The answer is in the air

We have a variety of flowering plants, shrubs and creepers in the grounds of our Home.  Some are so rare I haven’t seen the likes of it before. It is so good to go around the garden early in the morning with dew still on the grass and fog obscuring the mountain range completely and picking flowers enjoying the riot of colours in the sky and in the ground. The activity by itself is so satisfying. Sometimes I pick flowers of one colour, one type, sometimes of another.

I use these flowers to decorate my Krishna idol in the alcove in my front porch and the altar I have on the top shelf of my book rack with a picture and idol of Krishna, and other Goddesses, and an idol of Ganesha.  I enjoy arranging the flowers aesthetically around these, so meticulously, adding freshness everyday to the decor in the room.

Only recently I came across a delicate, pretty colourful flower with a very pleasant fragrance in a creeper. It surprised me that it has escaped my attention, even though it is in the area where I usually pick flowers from other creepers.

Then I realised that the flower blooms a bit later than my usual time in the garden. One morning I picked a bud and placed it in a bowl of water, but it did not open up. It dawned on me that the flower blooms only in the plant after getting enough warmth from the sun. I was told it is called Krishna Kamalam (Sanskrit for lotus). Being blue in colour it is associated with Krishna.

Couple of weeks ago I was at the banyan tree I go to worship on Saturdays. A devotee had come there with all the articles required to do a special pooja. I watched him do the elaborate preparations. Among the flowers he had there were two big lotus buds. As I watched him peel the petals one by one to open up the bud into a flower, it struck me that the lotus flower if plucked from its stem does not bloom and my mind connected it up with the Krishna kamalam. Though of different genre, the similarity in the name and its characteristics flashed. It was an awesome moment.

I realised that every knowledge is out there and when we least expect it the mind makes the connection spontaneously.

Discovering my self

When you reject all authority, something false which you have been carrying about with you for generations, you have more energy, more capacity, more drive, greater intensity and vitality.

When you have thrown it off and have this energy in which there is no fear at all- no fear of making a mistake, no fear of doing right or wrong, when there is this energy which comes from throwing off every form of fear, that energy itself produces the radical inward revolution. To be left with yourself is the actual state for a man to be. You are no longer looking to anybody or anything for help; you are free to discover for yourself.

And when there is freedom it can never do anything wrong. There is no such thing as doing right or wrong when there is freedom. You are free and from that centre you act. And hence there is no fear. A mind that has no fear is capable of great love. And when there is love it can do what it will.

J.Krishnamurthy (Freedom from the known)

It is exactly one year since I moved to Aarogya Kudumbam. I have grown tremendously in this one year. I can honestly say I am contented and at peace with myself. I am disciplined, yet lead a care-free life. I am happy and feel alive. I appreciate and accept myself. 

Even when I go on trips I am so eager to get back home, that I make the trip as short as possible. What is so great about living here? How living here has helped me grow and evolve?

I have my space, I have my privacy.

I have only what I need and use. All the things are in their places. I can find what I want even in the dark.

I have enough people to interact with. I do not judge them by their personality, appearance, background or interest. Their varied background has made me appreciate and learn diverse cultures. I am more tolerant.

People are polite enough to say only the good things about each other. Everybody shows enough interest in me, and do their best to be friendly with me.

They do not advise me, or even if they do, they don’t get offended when I don’t follow them.

Nobody has any authority over others. Being senior citizens we all believe others are matured enough to take care of themselves and that they know what is right and wrong. This helps us to accept people the way they are. Of course they believe I know how to take care of myself and lead my life.

We all put our best foot forward. In spite of the fact that we are all old and retired everybody takes care of their personal grooming and present themselves well. That motivates me to dress-up every day.

But I don’t have to be overly cautious or shrink / blow up my personality to suit others or to impress them. I feel accepted for who I am and that boosts my self confidence.

Everybody knows when I go to sleep, when and where I go out, what I eat, which TV programme I watch, yet it is no concern of others.

Just watching others in close quarters day in and day out provides us with all the inputs needed to understand each other.

I and everything – people, situations, nature and environment - around me seems to be in perfect harmony.

I accept differences of opinions. I am able to handle and resolve easily any small friction or conflict that arises occasionally. I do not let it affect me or break the relationship.

In the common room sharing the newspaper or the remote of the TV has never been a problem. I watch whatever a person is already watching. Others voluntarily offer the remote to me.

We do things together, not everybody together. Two are three people are able to form small groups to go shopping, visit temples, play golf or discuss the happenings around the world. There is no compulsion that everybody should participate in every activity. A ‘No’ to join in is not meant or taken as a rejection.

If only everybody had this kind of comfort level living with their own family, in their own homes wouldn’t life be great?

I got it

I have often felt that other people have found their faith, the path to follow and the guru to guide them. In that belief I have felt lost not knowing what or whom to follow or how to worship. And I have been searching for the right approach. 

Today I had a revelation that even though I do not know or have identified the path to follow, some higher power has always been guiding me in the right direction all my life. Only last week I read somewhere that the best way to pray to God is to ask him to show you the right path. I got it.

Too busy to record what I am doing

It is nearly two months since I wrote in my blogspot. It is not because I had nothing to say. On the contrary I was so busy doing so many things that I couldn’t focus long enough on one topic to write about. I haven’t learnt or it is not my style to say things so crisply in few selected words like my son Rajan. The thought of having to write elaborately in detail on what I am doing and what is happening with my life is enough to make me want to take a nap.

Living in a Home is neither like living with the family nor like living with neighbours. Living here is kind of like living in-between or both. It is a close-knit, gated community. Being in a Home with hardly 15 – 20 people at any given time, meeting them at least three times a day, one tends to get involved in everybody’s life, without being too intrusive. We happily interact with guests of any of the members. We get to know who is going where and what their current interests are. Watching other people and their life-style in such close quarters is an interesting hobby we all engage in. This has enabled me to feel so aware of myself.

In the last two months I read 3 books.  Hemingway’s “The old man and the sea” downloaded from the internet in pdf format, which I have read, may be, over 35 years ago. Erma Bombeck’s “A marriage made in heaven” which my daughter-in-law Barbara gave me from her private collection may be over ten years ago, which I have already read three times, and “The Cousins” which my friend Pradeep sent me by mail for my review. 

I enjoyed each one in its own special way. This time around, I understood the ‘old man’ Santiago’s struggle in a different way.  I do not get tired of reading Erma. Having enjoyed reading it again, this time I also read some of her newspaper columns from the internet. I enjoyed the story telling style of ‘The cousins’ but not the story as such.

Last week, quite by accident, I came across a shop that sells new and used books, next door to the supermarket, where I do my usual shopping. I bought two books, again the ones I have already read, to read again. 

I also did a 16 page, Devi Stotram booklet for a swamini, who has an ashram from across our Home. After being out of practise for over 10 months had to get familiar with typing Tamil and using Pagemaker. Enjoyed the challenge of doing it and learning new words.

Last month I visited an old cave temple with 4 other people. And on Krishna jayanthi, on an impulse, I went to a Perumal koil in a small village, had special darshan and a full-meal prasadam and I made a friend too.

Two months after I have sent in my application, I got my ‘proof of residence’ ID card from the post office. This is the first time ever I have gone through such a process for getting a document, all by myself. That itself I consider an achievement.

To comment in my Blog

For followers who have trouble in commenting in my blog  -  instructions given by my son Rajan
 

To publish a comment on your blog, your readers need to have an account with one of the services recognised by blogspot.

The one I have is with Google. It is easy to create a Google account and Google doesn't ask for personal information. Go to the following website and follow the instructions.

https://accounts.google.com/NewAccount

Then when they wish to make a comment, they type it in to the space provided, select Google as their "profile" and then select "publish". They will then be directed to enter their Google account log-in details.

Easy.

Also, when your readers log into google, they will be asked to type in two words that will appear on the screen to "prove you're not a robot".

Try it, you'll see what I mean. I'm glad I can still pass this test!

Post office ID card

I decided to transfer my Bank account from Ranipet to Coimbatore. Though I was told it is not necessary to transfer the account I felt comfortable having it where I live.

Forwarded my request through a local branch of the Bank where I wished to have my account. I was warned that there may considerable delay in the process.  Luckily for me it was done within a week.

Last week I went to the local branch to make necessary change in the address and get my cheque book. The Bank required a Proof of Residence. I presented the ID card I was given from the Home I live and also a letter addressed to ‘Whom so ever it may concern’ by Dr. Raju certifying that I live in Aarogya Kudumbam. But those were not acceptable documents by the Bank. When I told them I have no other proof of residence, they suggested I get an ID from the Post Office. 

I asked Vasanthy,  the lady (I don’t know her designation) working at our neighbourhood Mangarai post office. She said I have to go to the City Post Office  to get the application form.  The next time I went to the City I went there and got an application form. The girl there told me I could fill it up, take a Xerox copy and submit both at the nearest Post Office along with two passport size photographs and application fee of Rs. 270.

As our neighbourhood Mangarai Post Office is too basic to handle such process, I went to the next big one at Thadagam, about 5 kms away. The girl at the counter was very friendly.  She told me I had to get the application verified, signed and stamped by the Mangarai Post Office, as it is from where my letters get delivered to me. 

I asked the girl if she has an application form as I have made some mistakes while filling the form I had. She said she would get it online and get it printed for me. She didn’t charge anything for it. I felt so stupid that I haven’t even thought of checking it online. I still haven’t learnt to google for everything.  For me the learning process always takes a circuitous route. 

On the way back from Thadagam, I went into our Post Office (which is open only for a few hours in the morning) and got the form signed by Vasanthy even before I got it filled in. 

Today I went to Thadagam to submit my application. Oh yes, took my passport as proof for my date of birth too. I took a copy of the front page in the only shop providing the service there. Finally I submitted my application. I asked the girl when would I receive the ID. She said though she has sent quite a few applications nobody has informed her after they have received the ID. I told her I would inform and got her phone number. I know I will eventually get it done. 

But then every time I go out somewhere I am able to do some service to others in our Home. Today for one person I got a cheque cashed at the Bank and bought a table clock for another.

Yes Sendhil most of the days I am able to do some small service. At the end of the day I look back to see what significant impact I made on that day.

God surely takes care of me

God Ranganathar did make arrangements for me to visit Karamadai temple on an auspicious day. Yesterday at 7.30 am, Dr.Raju – promoter of our Home – called me to enquire if I would like to come to the Ranganathar temple. I told him I have already accepted an invitation to go to Anuvavi Subramania Swamy temple that morning.  He said he is planning to go only in the afternoon after lunch. I was so happy, I immediately accepted.  Dr. Raju said his daughter-in-law would be coming  and he could take four more people and asked me to pass on the message to others.

Yesterday was Adi amavasai (the new-moon day in the Tamil month of Adi).  Adi month is the beginning of festivities for the year.  Adi Amavasai was the first auspicious day this year. People go to temples. I did not plan any temple visit. But a Swamini (feminine of Swamiji) who lives across from our Home invited some of us to go to the Anuvavi temple that morning. She has arranged for a cab for the trip. Though she grew up in Coimbatore, she said,  she has never visited that temple.  I was happy to accompany her. This is my third trip to that temple. We had a good outing. I found it easy going up the 500 odd steps. We were home in time for lunch.

I have informed 3 other people about Doctor's offer to take us to the temple. They readily accepted. Doctor himself has asked couple of more people and we became six. We were all so very excited about going on an outing.  To accommodate all of us Doctor himself drove the ’Scorpio’. He told us that he read my blog on the ‘A temple visit’ and as he has never been to that temple he was motivated to go to the temple.

It is really amazing how well we could all relate to each other. We joked, teased and laughed all the way.  The temple was not overly crowded as some feared. We had a good darshan, strolled leisurely around the temple; I bought the athirasam (thought of my son Rajan) at the prasadam stall and shared with others.

On the way back as it was our tea time Doctor offered to treat us all for afternoon snack and tea/coffee and stopped at a good café. I asked for a plate of mixed vegetable pakoda which turned out to be the best. It was freshly made and the serve was generous. I shared it with all the others. It was so very satisfying.

The day was well spent. I had the added bonus satisfaction of having motivated and enabled one resident to make this trip. Isn’t this a service too Sendhil?

God does have his mysterious ways. He has more than ones shown me that he takes care of me. I am working on developing  faith in him.

A temple visit

I planned to go to the Ranganathar temple at Karamadai today. I decided two days ago. It is  about an hour’s journey by bus. I confirmed with my friend Santhi at the Tiffin Center across from the bus stop about the timing for the direct bus. I asked some of the fellow residents whether they would like to come. There was no taker. I dressed for the occasion in a kanchipuram silk saree.  I was really ready a relaxed outing. I had my breakfast early to be at the bus stop by 10 minutes to 8 in order not to miss the 8 a.m. bus. I told everybody whom I met on the way about going to the temple. I thought I was just like Little Red Riding hood going to her grandma’s house.

While waiting at the bus stop, two young men in a motorbike asked me for direction for Mangarai and to a church. I told them this is Mangarai and pointed to the church across the road. They thanked me. I felt as if I have done a service for the day.

Just then I remembered that yesterday one of the residents asked me to help to hang the flower garland on to her God’s picture hanging on the wall at a height she couldn’t reach. I also helped her by removing old dried up garland and mango leaf bunch hanging at her front door that she has put up when she did her house-warming a month ago. She thanked me for it. I told her I have done my service for the day.

I decided I have to be aware to see what service I do everyday.  

Some children going to School joined me at the bus stop. They too asked me where I was going and I told them. A boy told me about various bus route options I could take on my return journey. I said 'hello' to a girl appreciating her dress sense. Their bus came and they left. But not mine. I waited. 

More people came to the bus stop, some waiting for the same bus as I am. By 8.25 Santhi told us that the bus may not come. She suggested alternate routes changing buses at two places. I was not sure I could do that and still come back to my place for lunch. Yet I waited with the hope that the direct bus might come. I gave up at 8.45 and decided to cancel my plan and walked back home.

I was in no way disappointed. I felt, if God didn’t want me to come today, he must have a good reason. Some of the residents noticed that I am back and came to enquire why, worried that may be I was unwell and had to drop my plan. I was touched by their concern. We had a good chat for over an hour sitting in my front porch. I also said next week I will engage a taxi and organise a trip to the temple taking few of the other residents along, who will not otherwise be able to go by themselves.

After that I did my usual activities – reading the newspaper, browsing the net and having a nap before lunch.

At the dining hall I noticed a whole lot of visitors having lunch. One of the residents – a retired NCC Officer - was having surprise visit from his family. They were very friendly. After lunch we gathered outside the NCC master’s house and had a good interaction as if with old friends. They commented how well dressed I was in my silk saree. I felt so proud.

After all, my planning to go the temple was not in vain.

To be able to appreciate

To be able to appreciate

We, the residents of the Retirement Home where I live, are happy with cooks we have for the past couple of months. They replaced the father-in-law + son-in-law pair who were managing the canteen for the previous one year. Though the earlier cooks were OK, the meals they provided were pretty ordinary; never a surprise item in the menu; never one to take any suggestion from the customers. They just did their job.

We are happy with the young couple – Jerry and Daisy - who have come to replace them. They are cheerful, friendly and energetic. They smile a lot. They have the right attitude for the service especially considering the residents are entirely dependent on the meals provided by them. Though they are also from Kerala their cooking style is slightly different and a shade better. They are innovative; they make newer items to provide variety.  They would add an extra item of a pickle or chips that is not mentioned in the menu. They are caring. If a person is unwell, they would offer to do a special porridge and deliver it in the room.

With people coming from such diverse background we all have our own set tastes and norms for how a dish should be made. Every day we would have some comments to make about the food. I would give suggestions for improvement – to use less coconut, less oil, or not to make it too spicy etc. The cooks would take some of them in the right spirit and some as harsh criticism. But we are able to communicate with each other most of the time.

Last week they had to take couple of days off to visit their children living in Kerala with their grandmother. For those days, as a stop-gap arrangement, the contractor sent two ladies to manage the kitchen. Being isolated from the rest of the society we usually look forward to any new change. And of course we had our fingers crossed.

But right from the first morning coffee we found that their standard didn’t match ours. They were not at all suitable to cook in an establishment like this. The quality of food was very poor. Rice was not cooked well, coffee was not strong, curds were sour, sambar did not have enough dal or vegetables. The portions served were limited. They made it very clear that they are not happy to be working here, don’t like any comments and that anything said would be taken as criticism. They did not have the right attitude for a service industry. With that kind of atmosphere, it was very difficult, especially for me, to go through each meal time. Though before going to have my meal, I would make up my mind not to make any comments, it was impossible for me to restrain myself. One meal I even walked out without finishing the food in my plate. I refused to have the watery sambar and went without it. By the second day everybody was pretty uncomfortable. People complained of stomach ache and upset stomach.

But by the third day most unexpectedly Jerry and Daisy came back. I can’t describe the happiness I felt seeing them at lunch time. I expressed my happiness openly. The dining room reverberated with joy with everybody welcoming them back. They provided us a good lunch. There was absolutely nothing to comment about. For afternoon tea they served snacks they had brought from Kerala – banana & jack fruit chips, and Kerala dark halva.  Even the next day they served chunks of papaya with the meal. 

It was a great lesson learnt. We all had to go through the worst experience before we could whole-heartedly appreciate what we have.