I, Me and Myself

I, Me and Myself

Yesterday when I got a reply for one of my mails, I was disappointed that the person hasn’t understood what I had written in my mail.

I started replying to that mail with, “From your response to my mail I feel you haven’t understood”. Then I realized my mistake and rephrased it to “I feel I haven't made myself clear”. I felt happy putting it that way, taking the responsibility for the missed communication.

Last week when Sridhar and I went out for dinner with Ramraj, I was annoyed that the person serving us wasn’t cheerful and didn’t seem very enthusiastic when he was taking the order. Neither Ramraj nor Sridhar noticed anything wrong. As usual I did comment on it to his face. Ramraj pointed out that the poor boy might have had a bad day already. I never looked at it from that angle. It was my expectation that a person in the service industry should have the right attitude to do the job well. Later I told the boy the food was good.

Last month when I confronted somebody in an agitated state of mind on an issue that emotionally affected me deeply, that person mistook the gist of it as an accusation of an entirely different nature and felt he had to defend himself.

It was my clear conscience that made me realize and accept how the person could have received it. It was easy for me to say, “Forgive me. I didn't mean to come through that way. It was not my intension. I am sorry”.

All these are different aspects of my behaviour under different circumstances. Knowing and recognizing and being aware that in any situation it is my expectation that is causing the emotional disturbance and correcting it right away without hesitation, makes me feel good about myself. Not feeling guilty for my behaviour makes me the master of myself, with the feeling that I am OK.